Would You Rather: Good Skin Or Good Sex?

Ten or twenty years from now, when we look back on this moment in beauty culture, I think the impetus for the “intimate skincare” boom will seem obvious: The government is obsessed with our genitals. Abortion bans, anti-trans laws, Britain’s recent ruling defining “woman” as “biologically female,” the rise of conservative pro-natalist rhetoric, a renewed focus on rigid gender roles, legislation that interferes in citizens’ sex lives — all these policies reduce people to bodies, to parts with prescribed uses. The anxiety produced by this reduction gets cathected onto products.

When the state is policing your body, “intimate skincare” suggests, policing it yourself can restore some sense of control. Or: If your societal worth is determined by your genitals, your genitals better be optimized.

Whether or not this message is consciously sent or received as such, it’s one that sells. The feminine hygiene market now brings in $50 billion dollars per year from vaginal wipes, soaps, serums, supplements, sprays, and deodorants, and that figure is expected to double over the next decade. New additions to the body care space include Kiehl’s Over & Under Cream-To-Powder Deodorant (a 96-hour “freshener” for vulvas, among other areas), Dove Whole Body Deodorant (promoted in partnership with Charli XCX — though wouldn’t it be more “brat” to let your vag smell like vag?), a brand named Niches & Nooks (because “caring for your nooks is hot”), and Mienne, debuting this week with “skincare for everyday eroticism.”

I wondered if Mienne’s version of eroticism — a five-step, luxuriously-packaged, aphrodisiac-laced product system to beautify your privates and beyond, totaling $315 — might be more accurately described as neuroticism. And I wondered if its vision of “skincare as an intimate act” could “stimulate [one’s] worldview,” as promised, or merely reinforce an existing one: that cosmetics are Better Than Sex, that consumption is more thrilling than human connection, that products are the ultimate pleasure.

To get some answers, I stopped by Mienne’s launch party on the Lower East Side last night and talked to attendees. Here’s what they had to say:

The invitation for tonight mentioned “skincare for everyday eroticism.” What do you think that means?

The first thing that comes into my mind is definitely like… self-care, taking care of yourself, loving yourself through sensuality, through eroticism. Just enjoying something like skincare in a very erotic and sensual way for yourself.

Would you rather go one month with no skincare or one month with no orgasms?

That’s a hard one. That’s hard! Oh my God… Can I just say I need both?

What brings you more pleasure: a good skin day or good sex?

A good skin day.

The invitation for tonight mentioned “skincare for everyday eroticism.” What do you think that means?

The first thing that comes to mind is sexy, elegant, fashionable. Something that’s different than what you normally feel with skincare. It’s going down an adventurous route, I think.

Would you rather go one month with no skincare or one month with no orgasms?

No skincare!

What brings you more pleasure: a good skin day or good sex?

Good sex. That’s such a man answer.

Would you rather go one month with no skincare or one month with no orgasms?

No sex.

What brings you more pleasure: a good skin day or good sex?

Good skin.

The invitation for tonight mentioned “skincare for everyday eroticism.” What do you think that means?

I guess skincare that makes me feel sexy?

Would you rather go one month with no skincare or one month with no orgasms?

No skincare.

What brings you more pleasure: a good skin day or good sex?

Good sex gives you good skin I feel like! [Editor’s note: This is correct.]

The invitation for tonight mentioned “skincare for everyday eroticism.” What do you think that means?

I feel like skincare is about experimentation in a way — and even just all the different, like, fluids that come with it, maybe there’s something erotic about that?

Would you rather go one month with no skincare or one month with no orgasms?

No skincare.

What brings you more pleasure: a good skin day or good sex?

Good sex.

The invitation for tonight mentioned “skincare for everyday eroticism.” What do you think that means?

It made me instantly think of just really tactile packaging, something that’s gonna be really nice to put on. I immediately thought of body lotion or some sort of oil. And I really am interested in trying the products to figure out how they feel in your hand. The packaging is beautiful. The branding is very cool.

Would you rather go one month with no skincare or one month with no orgasms?

I think I’m a little too vain. I think I’m gonna say no orgasms for a month.

What brings you more pleasure: a good skin day or good sex?

Hmm. Good sex?

The invitation for tonight mentioned “skincare for everyday eroticism.” What do you think that means?

I had no idea. My friend told me what it is, though.

Would you rather go one month with no skincare or one month with no orgasms?

I need my skincare.

The invitation for tonight mentioned “skincare for everyday eroticism.” What do you think that means?

Um… Is this skincare or something else?

Would you rather go one month with no skincare or one month with no orgasms?

I need my skincare too.

The invitation for tonight mentioned “skincare for everyday eroticism.” What do you think that means?

You know, I texted someone [from the brand] and said, “What does that mean? Is it for sex objects, or is it for skincare?” She said, “Both.” And I do think my original guess was that there’s a beauty in everyday moments, but I wasn’t 100% sure if we were talking about, like, moments in the bedroom.

Would you rather go one month with no skincare or one month with no orgasms?

A month with no skincare, because orgasms are kind of skincare.

What brings you more pleasure: a good skin day or good sex?

A good skin day at the spa, followed by sex — and his card for both.

Would you rather go one month with no skincare or one month with no orgasms?

No orgasms.

What brings you more pleasure: a good skin day or good sex?

Honestly? A good skin day.

The invitation for tonight mentioned “skincare for everyday eroticism.” What do you think that means?

It’s funny actually, I was so inclined to come [tonight] because I just wanted to find out. I was having a hard time figuring out how we were making skincare erotic.

Would you rather go one month with no skincare or one month with no orgasms?

One month with no orgasms.

What brings you more pleasure: a good skin day or good sex?

I mean, definitely good sex. But I love my looks. I love my looks a lot. I care a lot about the way I look!

Sixty-three percent of partygoers polled either preferred skincare to sex or couldn’t choose between the two. Your turn (be honest):